Creating a TEDx Talk with a little help from my friends

Judy Oskam shares the behind-the-scenes journey of creating and delivering her TEDx talk at Texas State University.  She turned the microphone over to her long time friend and mentor Carole Barasch about the process, challenges, and insights gained.  Earlier in her career, Carole was an award-winning TV news anchor and reporter and public relations professional.

This is an honest conversation about the emotional and strategic work that powers a successful TEDx talk—mentorship, message clarity, and showing up vulnerable.  

In this episode, we talk about:  

• The application process  - it begins months before the actual TEDx event
• How working with multiple coaches helped refine content and delivery
• Creating a "personal advisory board" of mentors and friends for guidance
• Developing a theme: "take action and figure it out along the way"
• Vulnerability as a key component of an impactful presentation
• The importance of pacing, connecting with the audience, and practicing
• The value of having someone "in your corner" during challenging projects

Check out my TEDx talk - Why you should take action - then figure it out.  

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Stories of Change
• 1:24 Landing on a TEDx Theme
• 5:16 The Coaching and Preparation Process
• 8:21 Creating Personal, Vulnerable Content
• 11:40 The Core Message: Take Action
• 14:26 Delivering the Talk and Dealing with Nerves
• 17:40 Final Reflections and Advice

Transcript

Judy Oskam: 0:03

Hey, welcome to Stories of Change and Creativity. I'm Judy Oskam and I thought, on this episode, I would share a little more information about my TEDx talk. And there's a reason why I want to do that because I really relied on one of my mentors to help me with the talk, and so I asked her. She's a former broadcast journalist and PR Carole Barasch , so I asked Carole if I could turn the mic over to her and we could just chat about it, and I know she's got some questions. So, Carole, thanks so much for letting me talk you into this.

Carole Barasch: 0:44

My pleasure, my pain. That's right, that's right, that's right.

Judy Oskam: 0:49

Well, I'll turn the mic over to you because I really want to say, first of all, I really appreciate the help you gave me crafting this message. It was so hard to really think about what do I want to say, to be impactful and to make some sort of a share, some information that might be helpful, and you really helped me do that. And I mean that and let's not start laughing now, but I'm serious okay,

Judy Oskam: 1:15

Carole: so let's break it down okay what interested you in the first place to develop and give this TED Talk?

Judy Oskam: 1:24

Judy: Well, I think I saw an opportunity to challenge myself and to also share the message of you know, I don't know hope and anybody can do it and, I think, to really kind of be vulnerable and put that out there. And that's where you really helped me, kind of push me to do that. And at first I was thinking of being a little more structured and a little more about education, but then I realized I really have that story to tell as well. So I just thought it was a good challenge for me and I would give it a try.

Carole Barasch: 2:02

So when somebody gives a TED Talk, there's typically a theme. And what was your theme and how did you land on that?

Judy Oskam: 2:14

Well, the overarching theme of the entire TEDx talk at Texas State was all about education and all about higher education. So that was sort of my umbrella. That was the starting point. But as I got into it I really thought, wow, I have kind of journeyed through and have a connection with education, and also to sort of share that the road hasn't always been smooth and it wasn't an easy path. But by saying that I thought I might be able to encourage others to take action. So you helped me kind of focus that a little bit, and so some other colleagues of mine friends helped me focus it in my I landed on take action and figure it out along the way. Simple as that really. But it wasn't simple. Getting there was super hard. And I remember we would have you and I would have phone call after phone call and I would send you a draft and you were my. What did I call you? Sounding board. Sounding board. You were my concierge consultant, did I call?

Carole Barasch: 3:28

you Sounding board. You were my concierge consultant, my mentor, muse. So doing this TEDx talk required an application process and coaching and practicing, so it was a longer runway than a lot of people might think about when they hear somebody gave this kind of presentation. Tell them about the timeline.

Judy Oskam: 3:50

Yeah, the timeline is where Texas State and our TEDx. They call for applications if you want to apply, and that's in the fall, and then they notify you before the holidays start. So you, you start working on this months in advance. You start really working with your coach. I think we started in january. I started working with you earlier because I pitched you the idea. I called and said, carol, what do we do? Why do we do this? So it is a long, but it is a very structured. We also had to, I will add. I also had to do a live demo presentation in front of a class Did not do well.

Judy Oskam: 4:36

I was the last presenter in this class and I just I got in my head that, oh my gosh, because these other people were really good. So there was a lot of mental here for me. But that's just sort of how I'm wired. So I had to really do a lot of self-talk and I talk about that in the TED Talk as well. But we had to do presentations, we had to do connections with other. I practice it with my coach multiple times to really get it right and try and get it in the best shape possible, you know.

Carole Barasch: 5:16

So throughout the process you worked with a professional coach. Tell me about the coach and what he was able to do to move this process along.

Judy Oskam: 5:27

Yeah, I will say that the Department of Communication Studies at Texas State puts on this event. They are the organizers and coordinators, and when you do a TEDx, they match you with a coach, and this is a professional speech coach Now. You also were very good at that and you also helped me with that. So it was interesting. I was able to work with my coach, mark Paz, and Mark is a professor at Texas State and working with him on a weekly basis. This started more than a month before the February event, but we would go back and forth on the message, on the phrasing, on the sentences, and then and then you know, you and I would go back and forth and he knew that you were my personal concierge coach and you knew that I had him as a coach. So I really tried to practice what I preached in that reaching out to mentors and reaching out to others to to be your sounding board, and I think that's so important.

Carole Barasch: 6:32

I think that's fantastic, that you didn't go through this. You know, as you did it, you had to present it individually, but it really was. It became a team, a team effort.

Judy Oskam: 6:46

I think that yeah for sure, and that's I just think. I think everyone should really reach out to their friends, mentors, their personal advisory board and ask for guidance and support, because you, for instance, with such a background in broadcast news and public relations and even you did a little standup comedy in New York, I will add you're really good on your feet and you're really good with messages. So I just shout out to you as well.

Carole Barasch: 7:17

So we talked a little bit about the content. But once you did commit to the talk and you were, you know you had a coach to take you through the process. How did you, what was the process, to create the content?

Judy Oskam: 7:34

The content I started with. You know I just free-formed wrote. I just thought what is my messaging? I went through like you might write a speech, I guess, but really to step back and look at how does it fit in and then how can I promote some of our key programs at the university I was really intent on doing that and then to look back and find out what.

Judy Oskam: 8:02

It was kind of a good look back into a history lesson of my life and tying all that together. That's where really to find out how does one section move to another, and you were really good about how do you get from here to there. So I think there was some strategy there in doing that which I learned, and I did watch some other TED Talks to find out what I felt was effective. You were really good at pacing and telling me to slow down and really just take a minute and let the audience, you know, connect with the audience. I probably could have done a better job with that, but I probably could have. But again, it's, you know your mind is just going and you're putting yourself out there in a way that you it's not like you're doing a speech where you're looking at a script that is announcing the next award winner.

Carole Barasch: 8:59

Right, this is about your life. You know, you've spent a career teaching, so you're used to being up in front of people. Right right, this differs a little bit from that. You're very comfortable getting up and giving a presentation, a lecture. What do you think makes it different than, or is it complementary to, getting up and delivering a?

Judy Oskam: 9:27

lesson. Well, I think the fact that it was so personal. And to really make it personal, I felt like, if I'm going to grab this opportunity, if I don't really use it for something that I can look back in five years and really think, okay, I delivered the message I wanted to. If I couldn't do that, I felt like it was gonna be a waste of my time. So, I think, being vulnerable and you pushed me and Mark pushed me, coach Mark pushed me and, by the way, I interviewed Mark in an earlier podcast, so he really is a pro but between the two of you and my friends Wendy and Grace, was really good sounding board. So I guess, back to your question is what makes it different is that it's so personal.

Carole Barasch: 10:16

Yeah, and because it's so personal, you did have to tap into some emotions and feelings that you normally wouldn't do as a teacher.

Judy Oskam: 10:27

No, no, I normally wouldn't do as a teacher? No, no, I really wouldn't. I can talk about the history of public relations or how do you do a PR campaign and I'm talking about a process and I'm talking about other things but to really get into sharing information about your family, your history I mean you know my history with I didn't really think I could do some of these challenges. And then just to kind of push forward and then realize, oh, maybe there was a theme that ran throughout all of these decision points. You know and you helped me point out too that you know those decision points are not easy. They're not easy for anybody. So to really kind of tell the audience that, hey, you know it's not easy for you guys either, but then when you do these steps and you do take action and you will figure it out and I think we all need to hear that message more- yeah, and you just touched on what it was that you were focusing on.

Carole Barasch: 11:34

So tell, tell folks a little bit about what the main message was.

Judy Oskam: 11:41

For me, it was about um, create, you know, use, develop a strategy, of course, and the strategy is to reach out to friends, form your own personal advisory board, if you will and I don't get that detailed about that in the talk but when you're faced with challenges and uncertainty, to take action and figure it out along the way. It's that simple. And sometimes and I said this in the talk sometimes we need permission to do that and I think your friends and your colleagues and, in my case, my daughters and my students will often say well, why don't you do this? Or why don't you try and do a podcast? And I thought well, of course, why shouldn't I do that? So what have I got to lose?

Judy Oskam: 12:32

And if you weigh the options, usually there's not much loss. Maybe a little bit of your pride, maybe, but I think it's a matter and you've had taken risks in your life and you look back and you think I never want any regrets. I never want to look back and think would I have done this? Why shouldn't, why didn't I do that? So I think, to take action and just figure it out and, again, use critical thinking skills, talk to your friends, colleagues, advisors, and then decide to just do it. I think there's so much there that we always think there's going to be a path forward and we don't. We're not going to know the path forward, we just don't.

Carole Barasch: 13:16

So we've talked a little bit about this was it was a major step to create the talk Right, but then you have to present it, oh my God. So break that down. And what was required to get you ready to deliver the talk?

Judy Oskam: 13:37

That was the hard part. Number one I didn't tell a lot of people that I was doing it, and that's because Because I really I just didn't know if I was going to be able to do it and or do it well. I really wanted to nail this and do this well, so I didn't tell a lot of people. There was a big event in San Marcos. There was a big. It was, it was a big deal. It was a big, uh, a big deal on campus and I didn't I didn't promote it personally myself. Now, some of my colleagues did.

Carole Barasch: 14:13

But I think it's because when something is very personal and in a way that you're trying to protect maybe yourself, or protect the project, or where you think you know, I mean I can understand not wanting to share something where there's a little bit of uncertainty involved.

Judy Oskam: 14:35

Well, and I wanted it. I wanted to represent the School of Journalism and Mass Comm very well, I wanted to represent Texas State. So I don't know what I was thinking. If I didn't tell anybody, no one would know it afterwards, but but I just I didn't tell my mom that I was doing this and I just think I wanted to. Just it was sort of a personal challenge for me.

Judy Oskam: 14:58

But back to your question about delivering it I was a freaking nervous wreck. I was a nervous wreck and I have a friend who is a professional speaker out in LA and I called her a couple days before she gave me some breathing exercises. I was a nervous wreck when I was young. I stuttered, I had a stutter and I went through speech therapy some and I talk about this a little bit in the talk but I was really. I was just. I was a nervous wreck, was really, I was just. I was a nervous wreck. And again, if I were teaching about your history or you or anything in mass comm or media, it would be a different story, but I was talking about my own story. So, and I had notes. You know I had notes that I looked at, but I really tried to memorize as much as I could. So that was another challenge for me. I don't, I don't memorize very well.

Carole Barasch: 15:55

So once the big day came and you stood and you delivered the talk, how was that experience Did you? Did you actually take in the moment, or how'd it go?

Judy Oskam: 16:11

well, you told me to do that, you know you. You told me before uh, you need to really connect with the crowd, the audience, and it was a full, full house. My husband came, jess flew in from la to surprise me, danny came, hannah came from dallas how did this, how'd the word get around?

Carole Barasch: 16:32

you weren't telling. I didn't well, I well.

Judy Oskam: 16:33

I told my husband, I told I had to tell Felix, to tell him where to go right on Saturday because I thought if I crumbled I would need him to take me away quickly in the car right and drive me away quickly. So that was something that I was thinking about. But that was something that I was thinking about. But I think once I did it and again I think you really helped me with that and try and just take it in, look at the audience, connect, slow down and Mark did too. My coach Mark did too. As soon as I was done I sort of wanted to do it again and slow down just a little bit more, but but I was, I was happy and I'll never do it again and I'm fine with that, okay so.

Carole Barasch: 17:25

So, now that you've done it, you've joined the TED talk club. Well, the TEDx, the TEDx, the TEDx Club, yeah, so was it worth it? And what would you say to others who may be considering a similar undertaking?

Judy Oskam: 17:41

I would really encourage others to do it, to get their message out. And I think that's the whole thing. I mean, as an educator and a former broadcast journalism person, I think we always want to share information and tell people what they need to know and what they ought to know. You know the whole news thing. I think there's something innate with me that I want to share. My girls say my daughters say I give too much advice, but I think it's an opportunity to really hone your message and get it really tight and really clear and then to have that as a resource there to promote what you want to say to the world. So for that reason, I think it's, I think it's worth doing. And again, if you do a TEDx connected with the university, they will have professional coaches. I don't know if you're available for personal coaching Sure.

Judy Oskam: 18:45

But I think that was something that was really, really helpful for me is having you kind of as a mentor, and I've called you my little muse for a long time, my mentor muse. But I think really to kind of bounce back, having someone in your corner is key, you know.

Carole Barasch: 19:03

Well, I'm in your corner, I know you are.

Judy Oskam: 19:05

I appreciate that I appreciate that. So, Carol, again I just want to thank you for sharing and taking over the mic a little bit, and I just want you to know how much I appreciated you during this process. I think it was a we didn't cure cancer, we didn't solve, you know, a major we didn't. No, we didn't. But for me it was very special to have you along for the journey.

Carole Barasch: 19:34

Well, you pick interesting projects to work on and I've been privileged and honored that you've asked me to help you on a few of those things, so it's always fun. I never know where we're going next.

Judy Oskam: 19:46

That's right. Well, sometimes when we have lunch I bring an agenda, so that's just how it is. But I but I will tell you you were the first call I made after I got back in the dressing room.

Carole Barasch: 19:56

Well, I kind of insisted on it. I know, I know, I know I know, I know.

Judy Oskam: 20:01

So I just I just wanted to know how you felt about it. You know how did it go. How did? You feel, you know what your immediate thoughts were about the the whole thing, the presentation, yeah Well, my hope is that if somebody can see that and realize that they're never going to have all the answers, but they can talk to some of their advisors, their family friends, get some feedback and then take action. They will figure it out along the way.

Carole Barasch: 20:31

I also wanted to know that you lived through it. That's true. That was always the question right?

Judy Oskam: 20:36

I wasn't really sure myself. So anyway, Carol, thanks so much. Appreciate it.

Judy Oskam: 20:40

Carole: You're welcome, appreciate it, thank you.